EFT Intensive: INVEST in What Matters Most

An EFT Intensive is an opportunity to focus exclusively on your relationship without distraction for solid, uninterrupted chunks of time.

Each day we will spend a good 2 hrs in the morning, take a break to eat, reflect, regroup & recharge (additional exercises for Type A personalities), and then another 2 hrs after lunch to dig into things in a way that dives deep, builds on the progress made, and still gives you time to integrate so you don’t get overloaded.

This is the equivalent of months of therapy, and is appropriate whether …..

your relationship is in deep distress
you're reeling from a recent big event - like an affair - an intensive can be a powerful start to a journey of healing. Sometimes you need a lot of help fast!
maybe your connection just needs a tune-up, and this format is the best fit for a busy or unpredictable schedule.
maybe you’re a therapist and need to work on your own relationship out of your community, or...

You turn your phone to silent; leave work and kids and the busyness of everyday life to someone else (if you can); book a B&B and some cozy restaurants and turn your attention to the thing that matters most - your relationship.

No ‘whiplash’ from trying to switch out of work mode and into very personal and sometimes painful conversations, and then back to work mode by the end of the hour. No clock-watching. No waiting a week to continue something that we’re right in the middle of. Some things need more than an hour! We get to dive as deeply as needed into the important things and stay there until we’re at a natural stopping point. It’s all about YOU.

For many people, an intensive is part of a bigger plan. By the time we meet in Newcastle, we’ll have worked together to identify which focus is the best fit for your needs, agreed on appropriate goals and expectations, and completed whatever preparation is needed to maximize our time. That way, we get to hit the ground running to make the very most of our time.

Goals and Expectations for an Intensive will depend on your intended purpose.

Couples

There are four general (sometimes overlapping) areas of focus:

Therapy
Enrichment
Discernment
Decoupling.

Therapy

To generalize, the goals of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy might be summarized as:

unlearning old habits of relating that aren’t working for you
and THEN
learning new habits of relating to build closeness and trust
and THEN (if needed)
healing old hurts that are stopping you from feeling close or trusting.

Research shows that it does tend to need to go in that approximate order - maybe like learning to crawl before we can walk.

If your goal is to improve your relationship we’ll identify what’s going on currently, so we know where to start. For some people, our time will be best spent exclusively working to identify and understand the old habits of relating (we call this stabilising). Others will proceed to the building of new ways of relating that build closeness and trust. Whatever our focus is, the intensive will work best with consistent and intentional follow-up to integrate the changes made into your relationship in the ‘real world’. Practice is needed to turn them into habits. Some people can do this for themselves, but many people will need some kind of ongoing support until the new way of relating has become a habit, and all of the ‘problem’ issues are resolved. Then you’re good to go!

If you’ve suffered a devastating trust injury (like the disclosure of an affair) and are at critical mass, you may need a lot of help fast!! An intensive is a powerful start to a journey of healing. The good news is that we know how to repair those injuries. In fact, research shows that when we can do this, relationships can not only heal, but actually strengthen and improve.

If you’re working with another therapist and/or your relationship has stabilised to the point that you can manage difficult emotions enough to be able to engage in the healing process, then our intensive goal will be to do just that.
If your relationship is not yet stabilised then it isn’t possible to engage in the healing process yet. Our intensive focus will be to get you to that point as soon as we possibly can.

Enrichment

If your relationship is in goodish to great shape and you’re looking to enrich, fine-tune, or address something specific, then our goals will be to learn tools to D-I-Y relationship maintenance & repair, and practice using these tools.

Our work will follow the Hold Me Tight EFT enrichment program. This process can stand alone without needing preparation or follow up from a therapist.

Discernment

Discernment is helpful if one or both of you are not sure if you’re in or out of your relationship. It is crucial that both partners understand and agree on the intended purpose and goal up front.

This is an excruciating place to be in, and most people resist seeking help for many different but valid reasons. If this describes your situation, then the focus of our intensive would be;

to make sense of how your relationship got to where it is now
identify what - if anything - might change your situation for the better

The goal for this kind of intensive would be to have greater understanding of your relationship, and greater clarity on how to proceed (engage in therapy; exit the relationship or continue as before).

Decoupling

This option is if one or both of you have already decided to end the relationship. It is crucial that both partners understand and agree on the intended purpose and goal up front.

This can be an opportunity to have some closure to your relationship as you know it. Our goals would be to make sense of how your relationship evolved to this point, in order to gain some sense of closure, and to possibly re-define it in a healthy way (eg friends or co-parents). This is an opportunity to learn more about yourself - your own raw spots and blind spots, and things that will help you understand, and manage your own self moving forward. It also allows you to plan a united way of communicating this important news to significant others - especially if you have children together.

Individuals

An intensive is indicated for individuals in a number of different situations. Some of the common reasons are:

I want to understand myself - my emotions, my habits - and my own attachment/relationship style
I need to process and heal specific events or themes (current or past)
I want to come to a decision about how to proceed in my relationship - am I in or out?
My relationship is in distress, but my partner isn’t interested in counselling
I need help making a difficult life decision
I need support after a relationship has ended

An intensive can be so helpful to do a specific piece of work. Whether it can stand alone will, or course, depend on your situation.

Sometimes a one-day intensive (5 hours on a Monday) is the best fit for an individual.

what does an intensive look like?

Once you’ve decided to proceed, you’ll pay a $600 assessment fee and we’ll schedule two 60 min online assessment sessions. You’ll be sent a bunch of online assessment questionnaires to be filled out before the online individual assessment sessions, and you’ll also receive a copy of the book Hold Me Tight, and it’s highly recommended you read this in preparation for the Intensive.
We’ll then schedule those sessions, where we’ll further assess and prepare, clarify realistic goals and expectations. Unless we identify any red lights (eg untreated addiction, differing goals, or an ongoing affair, power/control concerns), then the intensive will be scheduled, you’ll be billed 50% of the outstanding intensive fee, with the remainder payable within 7 days of the intensive.
You’ll arrive at Thrive Wellness Hub around 10am each day, and follow the EFT map towards your identified goals for two solid, uninterrupted chunks of time (minimum 2 hrs morning & afternoon)
At the end of each day, we’ll review progress towards those goals, and again at the end of the intensive.
There will be a final follow-up session (online) within 2-4 weeks of the intensive, where the next steps are identified whether that includes at-home maintenance, ongoing work with another therapist, an enrichment workshop, or further intensives.

Booking and Preparation

The first step is to schedule a no charge 15-30 minute Zoom call with CoupleWorks by clicking the button below. For couples, both partners are required to attend this call.

Schedule Zoom Call

After this call, I will send you an email with the next steps. These include;

filling out assessment questionairres
scheduling a 60 minute assessment session each (online or phone call)

For multi-day intensives, if at all possible, book a hotel or B&B and make this a complete break from the demands of your regular life. But if you just can't swing it, please do your best to prepare to focus as much of your time on your relationship for the duration. Any chance Grandma can watch the kids? Or the dog?

There are now several intensive options:

Couples

Three day intensive

Minimum 12 hours in-person therapy over three days - Saturday, Sunday and Monday.
Each day includes a two hour morning session, a two hour afternoon session and structured exercises to work on between sessions. Our sessions may go longer than two hours where needed.
Includes two 60 minute online preparation sessions (one for each partner) and one 60 minute online followup session (together)

One day top up intensive

If you are a current client, or have already done a previous intensive in the last 2 years, then this includes 2 x 2 hour sessions on a Monday.

Individuals

Individuals can choose any of the one or three-day intensive options above. For individuals, there are no pre-requisites or restrictions on booking a one day intensive as there are for couples.

how much does it cost?

The fee for the EFT Intensive includes;

written materials to track your progress
a copy of the book "Hold me Tight: Seven Conversations for a lifetime of love" (couples only)
intake and assessment
one 60 minute individual online assessment session per person
the EFT Intensive sessions (as described above).
one 60 minute online follow up session (couples only)

Please click here for our current list of fees.